Confessions

Weight loss is not my thing, I don't think it's anybodies thing.  I've got the exercise down pat.  I love to move, I love to use my body.  But I also love to EAT, and what do I love most?  Sweets!!!

Today it was too many slices of French Toast with different types of syrup for Breakfast, Sweetened Condensed Milk and Apples and after that White Chocolate Chip Craisin Cookies.  I always think to myself, "Why shouldn't I have just one?  Why should I deny myself?"  The Problem is, you can't have just one.  And 3-6 cookies later, or pulling out the spoon for the Condensed Milk is just a problem.

So what do I do?  I exercise to keep the weight at bay.  Problem is...it's starting to catch up with me.  My eating's getting out of control.  And not just the sweets.  I find myself taking HUGE portions or 2nds and then 3rds and not feeling guilty about it until I feel overly bloated by the time I leave the table.

The worst of it happened today at the end of my Zumba Toning Class.  I'm the teacher, I'm the leader and yet, the women are complimenting another lady on her physic and asking how SHE does it.  They're supposed to be asking me...the Instructor.

I know I'm not fat.  I know I'm in excellent shape.  But I also know I could be doing much better.  My scale should be moving down.  That or my pants should fit me, and not be feeling tight like they do lately.

I'm in a bit of a slump.  Mid-life Crisis if you want to call it that.  Can't eat enough, can't sit enough, can'ty sleep enough, can't smile enough, never satisfied with anything.  What do you do?  How do you get out of it?

Jared has crazy amounts of self control.  He'll eat an apple for lunch to save calories because he knows he's going out for dinner with work later on.  How do I do that?  How do I save those calories for when it counts, for something that truly satisfies?  Or really, what is it that truly Satisfies?  Maybe that's the question to ask.

Any suggestions?